Selecting a Wife
By Zhu Ziqing
Translated by Tao Tao Liu

Being the eldest son of the eldest son of the family, I hadn’t reached eleven years of age before they set about making a match for me. At that time I was totally ignorant about what a wife was, but somehow or other they settled on a match. She was someone from my great-grandmother’s side of the family, and lived in the country in a small county in northern Jiangsu. Members of the family used to pay long visits there, and probably took me as well with them, but being as stupid as I am, not the slightest trace remains in my memory. My grandmother often used to lie on her opium couch talking about things down there, and would speak of some countryman or other by name. At first it all seemed to be only something that was wreathed in white smoke, but as the days went by, it imperceptibly became familiar to me, and even intimate. Besides the house itself, I used to think that the locality, which they called “Garden Estate”, must be really the most interesting place. So when I heard that I was betrothed to someone down there, it all seemed quite natural, and there were no objections. Every year someone came up from the farm down there, in blue workman’s outfit, with a pipe between his teeth, and bringing a large quantity of barley flour, dried yam and such like. Now and then in conversation with the family, he would also mention the young lady, who was about four years older than me and was said to be tall, and have bound feet. My chief interest at that time, though, was really in the barley flour and dried yams.

I remember that I was twelve years old when news was brought from down there that the young lady had died from consumption. No one in the family actually expressed much grief, probably because she was still little when they saw her, and as the years went by, they could not remember very clearly what kind of a person she was. At that time father had an official posting in another province, and mother was quite anxious to have my marriage settled, so she asked a dressmaker who often came to make clothes for us to act as go-between. The reason was that, as a dressmaker, she visited many households, and was able to see for herself many ladies and their daughters. It was not a bad idea: the dressmaker came up with a certain family, which was wealthy, and had two daughters; one was the daughter of a concubine, but the one that she was proposing was the elder daughter of the wife. She said that the family would like to inspect me. Mother agreed and a date was fixed, when I was taken to a teahouse by the dressmaker. I remember that it was winter, and on the day mother had me wear a gown of dark red Ningbo silk, with a jacket of black Ningbo silk, and a black satin skullcap with a red button on top, and she also told me to be circumspect. In the teahouse I met the gentleman who was there to inspect me. He had a plump face and big ears, and was about the same age as I am now. He wore a cotton cloth gown and jacket, as though in mourning for someone. This person was, however, quite kindly-looking. He kept looking me up and down, and also asked me questions like what sort of books I was studying. When we got back, the dressmaker said that he had been very careful in his inspection: said that my face featured a large space between my nose and lips, and this was a sign of a long life. He also watched me walk, and said that he was afraid there was something the matter with my feet. All in all, I was thought acceptable, and it was our family’s turn for the inspection. My mother sent a trusty old amah. This amah reported back that the elder daughter was much taller than me, and when she sat down she fully filled a round arm chair, but the second daughter was nice and slim. My mother said that women who are fat don’t produce children, such as X, Y, Z among our relatives; and told the dressmaker to propose the second daughter. Apparently the other side took offence, and would not agree, so the matter fell through.

Then my mother met a lady when she was playing mahjong, who had a daughter who was very clever and sprightly. Mother began to have ideas, and when she got home said that the girl was the same age as me, and skipped around the place and was still a child. After a few days she asked someone to find out if they were interested. It seemed their family held an official rank that was even lower than my father’s; in those days, actually the year before the Revolution, such things still counted, so they were very happy to make this match. Things were already ninety-nine percent agreed, when something went wrong. There was an elderly widowed amah in service with a great-aunt on my father’s side, who knew the family well. Somehow or other my mother got to hear of it. She was summoned to be questioned, and her words were evasive. In the end they got it out of her that the little girl had been adopted, though she was much loved by the whole family, just as if she were their own. My mother lost interest. After a couple of years, we heard that she had developed consumption, and had also become addicted to opium. My mother said that it was a good thing that the match was called off. I was beginning to understand the ways of the world, and I thought so too.

In the year of the Revolution, my father got typhoid, and many doctors were summoned to attend to him. In the end they called a Doctor Wu, who later became my father-in-law. One day the servant who had often been sent to fetch the doctor said that there was a young lady in the doctor’s house. Since my father was ill, my mother was naturally bound to be even more concerned about my affairs. As soon as she heard this remark, she enquired further. The servant happened to be just making idle talk and could idle not come up with any details. So when the doctor came, my mother sent someone to ask his sedan bearer whether the young lady belonged to their family or not. The sedan bearer said she did. Mother then consulted father, and asked her brother to find out what the doctor thought. That day I was standing by my father’s sickbed and heard them carry on the conversation. My uncle found out that the young lady was not yet betrothed, then he said, “What about a family like Mr X’s?” The doctor said that was fine. Having spoken this far, the next thing was the inspection, and it was again carried out by the same trusty I old amah. This time the report was quite good, the only thing was her feet were a bit big. Things having been as good as settled, mother told the sedan bearer to take back word and ask that the young lady should have her feet bound a bit: After my wife was married to me, she said that at the time of the inspection she had hidden herself away, and the person inspected was someone else. As far as the message brought by the sedan bearer was concerned, it raised a small ripple. Father-in-law said to mother-in-law, “1 told you long ago to bind her feet, and you wouldn’t believe me. Look what they are saying.” Mother-in-law said, “I am jolly well not having her feet bound, and they will have to put up with it.” In the end they compromised, right until the time of the marriage, when my wife came to live in our house.